Omni Hotel Guest Service Manager

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Omni Hotel Guest Service Manager

Post by Archived Topic » Sat Dec 29, 2001 1:58 pm

Paulina Farmer
Unite States
Can you help me rewrite this infomation. They are telling me what they want for the Scope of this position. I have responded with this experince but I feel it could be revised. Can you help me?

Scope of this Position

Position will be responsible for supervising/managing/overseeing the following departments: Coincierge and Bell Staff. Etc.

This is my experience in property management/hospitality/sales.

 Responsible for supervising/managing/overseeing an (eight) 8 person staff covering front office and administrative assistant, maintenance supervisor, janitor, and (4-person) security.
 Responsible for supervising/scheduling/managing thirteen 13 dining servers, four (4) Housekeepers.
 Responsible for supervising managing/overseeing a (six) 6 person staff covering Front Office and administrative assistant, maintenance, porter, two overnight security.
 Acquired over ten (10) year(s) of supervisory experience
 Positions reported to the Director of Personnel/Executive Administrator/Supervisor
 Property sizes varied between 100 to 250 units plus clubhouse and grounds.
 Positions were required to work a varied schedule that included some evenings, nights, …...weekends.

Thank You, If this is not clear I will explain further.
Submitted by Pauline Farmer-Hannibal (Huntington Beach - U.S.A.)
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Omni Hotel Guest Service Manager

Post by Archived Reply » Sat Dec 29, 2001 2:13 pm

Hi Paulina (or is it Pauline?),

First things first:

I assume you are working for a recruitment company, liaising with clients concerning their job requirements.

Good spelling will therefore be an important aspect of your self-presentation. On the basis of your query, I would suggest you pay more attention to it, as I can see that you have either misspelled or mistyped 'Unite States', 'experince', 'Coincierge', and you have also introduced many unnecessary capitalizations (e.g. "...overseeing the following departments: Coincierge and Bell Staff. Etc.").

For some reason, you have also rendered some numbers both in numerical and longhand format, albeit inconsistently: ..."managing thirteen 13 dining servers, four (4) Housekeepers". Is there a good reason for this? I would suggest cutting out the longhand description, which seems like an unnecessary redundancy.

You also state that "Position will be responsible for supervising/managing/overseeing the following..." and "Positions were required to work a varied schedule..." It is not the position that is being employed to do these things, but the person who has been hired for the position. Why not simply cut out these references to 'position' in your bullet points, e.g.: "Reported to the Director of Personnel..."?

Next, the bullet point "Acquired over ten (10) year(s) of supervisory experience" does not relate to a specific post. It is therefore better to include it in an introductory paragraph, e.g. "[Named person] has over 10 years of supervisory experience", not least because this seems like an important attribute for the service manager post that you are recruiting for.

In a list of job titles, "security" and "overnight security" are incorrect. They should be described as "security staff" and "overnight security staff" or similar.

The heading "This is my experience in property management/hospitality/sales." could easily be shortened to "Experience in property management/hospitality/sales".

Finally, the phrase "Responsible for..." is superfluous verbiage. Shorten the sentences in which they occur, e.g. instead of "Responsible for supervising/scheduling/managing...", write "Supervised/scheduled/managed...". In fact, could this description not be summarised simply as "Managed..."?

I suggest that you allocate some time to checking over résumés and job descriptions for consistency and spelling as a matter of routine, making use of your WP program's spelling checker to help you.
Reply from Erik Kowal ( - England)
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