The dedication is simple and to the point, To the French, with my sincerest apologies. Stephen Clarke is an ex-pat Brit living and working in Paris as a journalist .. his Ten Commandments take us across the gamut of everything you will need to know to converse, understand, socialise and make love to a French person ..
- Thou Shalt Be Wrong (if you're not French) - Why every Frenchman is "Monsieur Right"."
- Thou Shalt Not Work - Why long weekends are good for the French economy.
- Thou Shalt Eat - Just because it smells of pig's droppings doesn't mean it will taste like them.
- Thou Shalt Be Ill - Getting the best out of the French national drug habit.
- Thou Shalt Speak French - Fun ways to mispronounce words and offend people.
- Thou Shalt Not Sing (in tune, anyway) - A french artiste says: "Pretentious, moi?"
- Thou Shalt Not Know - Don't mention the war, nuclear power, tax or structural surveys.
- Thou Shalt Not Love Thy Neighbour - Oui, I am smoking into your dinner, et alors?
- Thou Shalt Not Be Served - Garçon? Waiter? Bonjour? Oh , forget it.
- Thou Shalt Be Polite (and simultaneously rude) - Bonjour, Madame, vous êtes une idiote.
- Thou Shalt Say "I Love You" - The perils of French-style amour
.. the book is a brilliantly funny read and I now feel that I will be able to face the French during the Rugby World Cup in October with confidence and the knowledge of how to get a feed, a fight, and fellatio in French ..
M WoZ d'Aus 15/04/07