Bird brain

We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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Bird brain

Post by Erik_Kowal » Thu Nov 14, 2019 4:43 pm

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every sentence out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried as best he could to change the bird’s attitude by consistently conversing with it using only polite words, playing it soft music, and trying everything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. But nothing worked.

Finally, John got so fed up that he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the bird, which grew even angrier and ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over two minutes. Fearing that he’d hurt it, John quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot stepped out gingerly onto John’s outstretched arm and said “I believe I may have offended you with my impolite language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my obnoxious and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the sudden change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had brought about such a dramatic transformation, the bird said -- very softly -- “May I inquire what the turkey did?”
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