** How to milk trends and influence people

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** How to milk trends and influence people

Post by Erik_Kowal » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:11 am

Her ancestors had been farmers. Her parents were farmers. She had married a farmer. She was plain-featured, and was built like a Holstein. She knew no other life than the farm. They had cows and horses and sheep and goats and pigs and chickens and ducks... and of course, they also sold produce at the local farmers’ market.

At the same time, the woman shopped at her local grocery store for salt, coconuts and the few other essentials that she and her husband also needed but could not produce themselves. One day, she noticed a display with some cans of Carnation condensed milk bearing contest forms on their labels. On an impulse she asked the shopkeeper for a can.

At home, she dug in her purse. With the pencil stub she found there, she continued the first line of the slogan, which began, "I like Carnation best of all ....". Her hopes were scant, but she felt better for sending off her completed entry.

A couple of months later, she was surprised to greet a representative from the Carnation Milk Company on her doorstep. He told her that her entry was the best they’d had, and went on to explain that while they could not publish it, they had decided that her creativity was at least worth a consolation prize. He reached into his jacket pocket.

With a flourish, he presented her with a check for a thousand dollars, courtesy of the Carnation Milk Company.

This is what she had written:

I like Carnation best of all:
No tits to pull, no shit to haul,
No pails to wash, no hay to pitch –
Just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch!
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