Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their way up through the vaudeville circuit, and they remained friends until Benny died. One day, they were lunching at a Hollywood restaurant, and Benny was wrestling with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread.
"I like butter on my bread," he said. "But my diet strictly forbids it. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do."
"Jack," Burns said, "don't be ridiculous. You're a grown man. You should be able to decide whether to butter your own bread without your wife's help."
"You're right," agreed Benny. "I'll just have the butter, that's all."
When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns waved towards Benny and said, "He's paying."
"What?" said Benny. "Why should I have to pay the whole bill?"
"Because if you don't," replied Burns, "I'll tell Mary about the butter."
How not to butter up a pal
How not to butter up a pal
ACCESS_POST_ACTIONSSignature: -- Looking up a word? Try OneLook's metadictionary (--> definitions) and reverse dictionary (--> terms based on your definitions)8-- Contribute favourite diary entries, quotations and more here8 -- Find new postings easily with Active Topics8-- Want to research a word? Get essential tips from experienced researcher Ken Greenwald
ACCESS_END_OF_TOPIC