The portal of bliss

[Erik_Kowal]

A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her back to his lavish apartment, where he soon discovered that she was not only well-groomed but apparently very intelligent. Hoping to get intimate with her, he began showing off his collection of expensive paintings and first editions by famous authors. As a further prelude to his hoped-for seduction, he asked whether she would prefer a glass of port or sherry.

She replied, "Oh, sherry, by all means. To me, it is the very nectar of the gods. Merely to gaze upon it in a crystal decanter fills me with a wonderful sense of anticipation. When eventually the stopper is removed and the glorious amber liquid is poured into the glass, I inhale its enchanting aroma and I'm already elevated on the shimmering wings of radiant ecstasy. I have the inexorable sense that I'm about to imbibe an intoxicating magic potion, and it is as though my whole being is suffused with a sensual glow that lights me from within. The soft sound of a thousand quivering violins seems to fill my ears, and together my senses transport me to another world entirely, helpless to resist in any way."

She continued: "On the other hand, port makes me fart rather dreadfully."