Wordwizard

Both are very wrong.

1) is bad, 2) is dreadful.

Careful. Roger is my step-brother.
And Steven, even if he wasn't, I would never use the word in the way that you have suggested.

A bloke in the pub told me that he suffers from xenophobia.
He is convinced that he caught it off some foreigner.

Thank you Phil. It is good to know that one is appreciated.

Why can't Mr Trump go to the White House any more?
Because it is for Biden.

Trump supporters are complaining that people are dressing up as elks to taunt them after the election result.
Don't pay any attention, it is fake gnus.

Thank you Phil.

This is a drinking fountain extremely to near where I live. It was installed as a memorial to an industrialist who was active in the area. The water has been turned off now and it has been rededicated as a War Memorial (hence the poppy wreath). The modern little boy is my grandson. https://i.ibb.co/...

I don't really like any of them.
I would suggest, "He runs faster than any of the other students".

Using the word "bucks" looks as though you are being artificially American. I have no idea if the word is still in common usage even. And as an aside, I had to Google "9th Grade" to find out how old Tom was when he left school becaue 9th Grade has no meaning to a Brit. If he was British, Tom would h...

Did you hear about a cowboy who had bought a dachshund?
He had been told to get a long little dawgee.

You most certainly can Steven.
I'm just a bit puzzled about the second question. What is it?

EDIT . . .My thanks to Erik who has answered my question in the post below this.
I feel a bit ashamed of myself for missing something so obvious!

A bloke in the pub told me that he had bought two goldfish. He named them One and Two, because if One died he would still have Two left. And if Two died he would still have One.

I was told by an expert that the spread of Coronavirus depends on two things:
The denseness of the population
And
The denseness of the population.

As far as I know the word "wizard" comes from the Middle English "Wys" meaning "wise".
I have no idea where the magical bumbling illegitimate men came from because I have never come across the concept. The wizards that I have met (in literature) have all been wise men.